Free!
by Reinbeauchaser
Summary: COMPLETED! Free as the wind blows, or as the sewers stink. Whatever FREE truly is, Buster will learn some lessons from four unsuspecting friends victims. Raph better suit up in armor for this one!
1. The Stinky Tunnel

This story happens before Klunk and before Baka.  I do not own either of those kitties nor the TMNT's.  It is a separate cat story featuring my kitty, Buster, as the hero!  Yes, hero.  He has to save himself and as you know, cats are quite self-serving.  They're the only players in their life story; everything and everyone else are just bit parts – pun intended!  All I can say is, Raph better start running now!   

As a side note, I thought of this theme from watching Buster 'long' for the outside.  He'd love to chase bugs and birds, but – amazingly – he is allergic to the outside.  He gets very sick…so he has to stay inside, much to his personal angst!

I was hoping for a one shot, but it's not going to be.  Maybe under ten chapters.  I hope, anyway!

Oh, and since I am involved with two other stories that are on-going, I can't guarantee that I'll update very quickly.  Just hang in there, though!  Be blessed.

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CHAPTER 1 – THE STINKY TUNNEL

He was free!  Finally, after years of captivity he was free!  Ah the sweet smell of freedom and going wherever the heart pulls.  Well, 'sweet' may not have been the best word to describe where he was, considering he was prowling the bowels of The City.  However, 'free' certainly was!  

He had moved unwillingly to this noisy, busy, and foreign town, far from his home out west.  Though for most of his life he had been held captive, at least it didn't smell as bad as this place did.  Yet, home was where you found it, sometimes, and right now he decided he liked his present 'digs' better than the cage he once called his own.  

There were scary things, though, that kept his ears and eyes on edge.  He couldn't quite tell what they were. However, occasionally he would catch a glimpse of them and for a moment his memory would be triggered.  He had seen something like them once before in his barely five years of existence.  In fact, if he wasn't mistaken, there had been four of them.  The sad thing was they were kept in a tinier cage than he had been.  Still, they were smaller than he was so maybe they didn't mind it as much.  He thought about them and wondered what had happened to them.  He did know that after the last one had disappeared, his captor had taken their cage away.  Remembering his 'friends' and how much fun they were to watch with their long and tempting tails, he became just a little melancholy.  

However, in that next moment, he caught sight again of the familiar 'thing' he had occasionally glimpsed since he had entered the 'smelly' tunnels.  He crouched down instinctively and waited.  Huddling against the cold damp concrete wall, he watched.  His ears were turned as far forward as he could make them, waiting for the 'thing' to emerge.  Finally, it scurried into view. 

Yes!  He was right.  It was just like his friends that had mysteriously gone away one by one.  Only… this one was bigger.  Moreover…it wasn't in a cage.  Then… it saw him.  He just froze.  What was it going to do?  He didn't know because the only experience he ever had with something like this had been behind bars – with him on the outside.  It wasn't that he didn't want to know.  There had been something about them that had piqued his natural instincts.  However, he never had a chance to explore that aspect of his personality.  The cage that they had been kept in kept him from finding out.  Now, however, here was his chance!

He talked to it to see what it would do.  In reply It let out a terrified 'squeak' and took off.  Well, here was something fun, he thought.  He decided right then and there to just do what nature told him to do. He gave chase!  

Up through the tunnels they ran, one in the lead with the other frantically trying to catch up.  The one in the lead, however, knew the tunnels quite well and before the other realized what had happened, the leader ducked into a small crack in the tunnel wall.  Unfortunately, the other was just too big to follow and so he sat there at the opening, grumbling about the unfairness of it all.   

He waited and wondered why they made holes big enough for the 'thing' to get into but too small for him.  It just didn't seem quite right.  After a time he realized that the 'thing' was not going to come out; at least not for a while.  Therefore, because he was now feeling a little hungry, he decided to go and see about finding some food.

That was the big disappointment about being 'free'.  Food had to be found.  Before, when he was held captive, food was given to him.  That and the fact he didn't have to worry about the sky when it became wet was the only consolation for being imprisoned.  Since he had been free, though, he had gone more days hungry than ever in his life.  Still the euphoria of being on his own could not be quelled.  He loved his independence more than a filled tummy.

He searched the long tunnels for many hours and was starting to tire of the grumbling his stomach made.  He was just about ready to find a way out of the stinky place when his nose caught the scent of something wonderful.  

Food!  

He couldn't decide what it was but it was certainly better compared to the stench of the sewers.  Therefore, with his mouth watering he followed the trail it afforded. 

In no time at all, he soon found himself standing before a door.  As he stared, for some reason it seemed out of place.  For the many days that he had been wandering alone in the tunnels, this was the first resemblance of a cage that he had seen.  It kind of made him nervous, but his stomach told him this was where he would find food!

He sat there and listened.  He could hear noises from inside, voices that were vaguely familiar but whose language was still not his own.  What alarmed him, though, was that their speech was very similar to his captor's language.  However, he realized right away that it wasn't his captor, but someone else entirely. 

If they lived here in this tunnel, maybe they had escaped a cage like the one he had been kept in!  

However, just as he was about to let them know that he was outside, the door suddenly opened.  He scurried back and into a nearby shadow.  He watched as two of the strangest people he had ever seen walk out the now opened doorway.  Frightened, he thought of maybe running off and looking elsewhere for nourishment. 

Yet, the delicious smells that came from the exposed cage now assaulted his senses.  In his mind, he knew that this was where he would find food.  He also noticed that the door was starting to close.  If he didn't make a decision now, he may never get a second chance.  

Quickly he noted that two more of these strange creatures came out of the almost closing door.  They pushed it further open to allow their bulk to pass through.  They chattered on about things that did not interest the silent observer.  He waited, gauging his timing.   He watched as the creatures meandered up the tunnel while the door to their 'cage' gradually closed.  Before it could complete its descent into the door jam, he streaked in full speed.  His timing couldn't have been any better.  Just as the end of him made it into the lit 'cage', the door completed its journey to closure.  

Standing inside the 'cage', he now stared in wonder.  There before him just as surprised as he, stood – yes, it stood – the largest 'thing' he had ever seen.  It was even larger than the one he had chased earlier and with a tail that was amazingly long.  Only this 'thing' carried a stick and refused to run.  

This didn't look good at all.  

Holy kittens what had he put himself into now?


	2. A Tail to Tell

**CHAPTER 2 – A Tail to Tell**

He wasn't quite sure what to do.

The 'thing' seemed to be in the same quandary as it stared back at him. The only part of its body that moved was its tail.

Oh, that tail! He found it quite compelling and hypnotic. He watched the tip of that hairless tail tap against the ground nervously. Was the thing nervous about him? He couldn't tell and he didn't really care. Because he was distracted by its tail, the thing grabbed very little of his attention now. Even though it looked very much like the one he had chased earlier in the stinky tunnel, this creature was way out of his league on size alone.

However, its tail seemed promising.

Looking up at the creature once again, he wondered if by attacking its tail he could make it run. He so enjoyed that romp earlier. With a creature as large as this one, he was certain it wouldn't be able to fit into any cracks, thereby making its escape.

Yet, maybe this thing would not run at all. It was quite possible that it could turn a mitten on him and chase him instead. That would not be good. From where he sat, it looked as if it could probably run faster, too.

Then he noted the stick it grasped in its one paw. Sticks were a mystery to him. They served no purpose other than to make the barkers that roamed the streets look silly when their captors would toss one away. The bakers seemed mindlessly agreeable in always bringing the sticks back, too. How foolish it seemed to him. It was truly a waste of energy and time as far as he was concerned.

Yet that thing's tail kept tapping; kept 'calling' for him to come and play. As he readied himself to pounce, he chanced one more look up at the thing. It was then that he noted its ears were pinned back a little. That meant it wasn't happy, based on his personal understanding of such expressions. Was it getting mad? That had him a little concerned. Considering its size, he was certain the 'thing' would be formidable.

He reconsidered.

As difficult as it was, he would let temptation slide this one time and ignore the tail.

However, that tail kept tapping even more now! He closed his eyes to will himself not to think about it, that tapping teasing tail. Blast it all, he thought, it still 'called out' to him. He could hear it mock him. He then squeezed his eyes tighter to concentrate, letting out a small cry in frustration. He trembled and then realized he _just couldn't take it anymore. _

Snapping his eyes open and ready to pounce – he noticed that the thing was gone?

Jumping around suddenly in shock, he visually searched the cage. Nothing, it was just gone. Where had it disappeared? He knew he hadn't been imagining it; he knew it was real. However, if it was real why didn't he hear it when it left? Its quick departure made him a little nervous. His back rippled in response.

Quickly confirming that the cage door was closed, he turned back around. It was then that he noticed a light coming out from a large opening in the far wall. It was just to his left where he had been sitting previously. As he focused on that opening, he soon realized that the smell of food, which had led him to this cage in the first place, was coming from there.

Cautiously he crept forward in that direction. His ears were ever mindful of 'things' that might be lurking behind the soft sitting boxes that were in the room. The 'thing' very well might have tried to hide there, sensing his desire for its tail! Well as long as it was locked the same cage as he, there would be plenty of time to chase its tail. Right now, however, he was hungry. Food was what he needed, not some romp with the thing. His stomach was currently growling louder than he could purr.

As he made his way into the lit open area, he stood stock-still. He stared once again. It stared back! There was the 'thing' with the tail and – _with a bowl in its front paws_. How odd, he thought. Who would have believed that such a thing could grasp a bowl in the same fashion as his captors could?

Grabbing things was one of the few qualities that had made his captors so special. Where he was unable to open doors and work bowls, his captors could. Yet here, standing before him in like manner, the 'thing' was holding a bowl. It was just plain incredible, that's all he could say to himself.

Then, to add more amazement to his already challenged understanding, the 'thing' spoke to him. However, it was not the 'squeak' that he had expected to hear. He considered the sound it made very carefully. After a moment, he discovered the language wasn't even that of his captor or of those creatures that left earlier. This one spoke words that were very short and precise.

He had absolutely no idea what it was saying, though. Therefore, he sat and waited. Maybe it would do something that he would recognize.

No sooner had he sat down on his haunches than the 'thing' placed the bowl on the ground. He telescoped his head up a bit, as far up as his stretching neck would allow. He noticed there was something inside the bowl, but from where he sat it was difficult to tell what it was. Looking back at the 'thing', who was now standing up straight again, he heard some more of the strange words. However, there was one word he recognized out of all of the ones he couldn't understand.

Only one word and the creature said it twice to him.

"Kitty, kitty!" the thing said.

Cocking his ears far forward, he knew that word! It meant that whoever said it might have something good to eat or to drink, maybe a scratch behind the ears or a good tummy-rub, too.

Considering what the 'thing' just placed on the floor, however, he had a good idea it concerned that bowl.

Carefully and not taking his eyes off of the thing – _or its tail, for that matter_ – he edged his way slowly towards the bowl. The closer he came to it the stronger the scent that wafted up towards him. Just as he peered over the rim of the container, he immediately recognized its contents. The aroma hit his senses and a word came to his mind. _Tu-na!_ He had learned that word from his captor who would always say it just before feeding him. He had learned to recognize that word with the food in that manner. _Tu-na_ was one of several words his captor used that he had learned to understand – and it was one of his favorites, too.

He had to smirk to himself at how smart he really was.

Yet, this 'thing' knew just what he needed besides the food. It seemed to know how soothing it was to have one's back scratched and rubbed while eating. He never would have guessed it would possess such valuable knowledge. How incredibly strange and wonderful, he thought.

Unable to control himself while he ate and while the thing continued to scratch his back, he began to purr.

Oh, the sacrifices he was making just to get some food.

Maybe he'll put off chasing that tail for another day. Maybe, but he'd make no promises about it.

After all, it was a very long and tempting tail!

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_**Comments** - To all who read and reviewed - a bit thanks! RAMICA - PRETENDER FANATIC_


	3. Victim!

Disclaimer: I only own The Cat – I really do…honest! In fact, he's just like the one depicted in this story, too! I have the scars to prove it! See…oops…forgot to engage the PC camera. Oh well. Just enjoy!

CHAPTER 3 – VICTIM

Splinter had to chuckle at the anguished scream coming from Raphael's room. A moment later a streak of black and white raced out from the hallway and into the living area as if the devil were behind him. Actually, it was a close analogy as another form shot into the room soon after, only this one was green and much larger.

Not to mention quite upset.

"I'm gonna skin that _FREAK'N_ cat, so help me!" Raph bellowed. With sais in hand, he scanned the area quickly. He soon spotted his target – safe and content on Splinter's lap.

"What is the problem, my son?" the old master asked as he looked up from his chair. He was petting the animal as it settled down with him in the rocker.

Trying his best to keep a measure of respect in his voice, Raphael replied, "No offense, _Sensei_, but your cat attacked me – _AGAIN_!"

Under Splinter's caressing ministrations the cat began to purr, his squinting golden eyes never leaving the green form that stood seething from across the room. It was almost as if the cat were mocking him.

"No offense taken, but what did you do to the cat?" Splinter asked evenly. He knew that for reasons that defied explanation, the Cat seemed to take great enjoyment out of terrorizing his most temperamental son.

"What did _I_ do to the CAT? _I_ didn't do ANYTHING to that stink'n … ah … your … cat!" Raph protested, losing steam when he quickly remembered his master's affection for the offensive animal. However, he still glared menacingly at the furry beast, explaining, "I was trying to do as you suggested, Master, and make friends with him." the red-bandanna turtle said exasperatedly, his hot gaze glued to the fuzzy black form on the rat's lap.

"And?" Splinter asked inquisitively as the Cat rubbed his face affectionately into the rat's paw.

"He didn't _WANT_ to be friends!" Raph seethed grumpily. It was quite plain he was exercising tremendous self-control to keeping a lid on his temper.

"He didn't want to? How, Raphael, did he tell you this?" Splinter asked.

It was the umpteenth time that week Raph and the Cat had tangled. Their 'sparring' was starting to become a regular occurrence.

Holding up his arm, he showed several bleeding rips along the length of it with a finer set of denture marks in between. "He _ATTACKED_ me! That freak'n cat bit and latched on to my arm and wouldn't let go - until I picked up my _sais_!"

"Raphael, I have told you before not to threaten the cat with your weapons!" Splinter admonished.

"It was _after_ the fact, Master Splinter! What was I gonna do? Let him maul me?" Raph protested.

"You could have gently pulled him off of you." The rat offered.

"Sensei, no disrespect, but have you ever been attacked by a cat?" Raph asked in exasperation. It was then when he realized the absurd nature of his question. He gulped as he saw an immediate shift in his sensei's mood.

Splinter's ears folded back slightly and he narrowed his eyes at Raphael, "I have – a long time ago. Things were different back then!" He remembered all too well the feral cats in New York City how before his transformation they would chase him. Now, however, he had a different perspective on his once-feared predator. As he stroked the cat on his lap, Splinter smiled down at him. He never thought that he'd enjoy the company of such a creature. That fact alone was the only reason why he allowed the Cat to stay in the lair in the first place.

Looking up at his son, he said, "The poor creature might have had some unfortunate experiences. It is quite possible, Raphael, that you remind him of those experiences."

Raph growled under his breath, "I'd like to give him a few new experiences, myself!"

"Hai!" Splinter admonished sharply, "An improvement in your attitude would be a start!" He whipped his tail for emphasis and then almost immediately saw the Cat's renewed interest in it. The black and white ball of fur raised his head sharply, his golden eyes going to black as he caught sight of the tempting target. However, the rat swiftly curled his tail under the chair and out of sight as he held his breath. Fortunately, the Cat lost interest as the caressing hand along the nape of his neck increased its massage earnestly, generating more purrs from the animal.

Raph had to smirk just a little at his master's own limitations with the beast.

Splinter didn't miss the expression. Regaining his composure, he looked up at his son, "Go, now, wash your wounds and make sure to use peroxide. Clean as we try to make our lair, we still live in the sewer and so does the cat!"

Raph half begged, his voice nearly pleading, "Just do me a favor, Sensei, pleased keep him out of my room!" Raph then stormed back into the hallway towards the bathroom, grumbling a few choice words under his breath.

"I will, my son….so long as _you_ keep your door closed!" Splinter chuckled as he leaned back in his chair again, rocking and stroking the now sleeping form on his lap.

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**Comments** - To all who read and reviewed, my heartfelt thanks! MELIKA – PHOENIX RISING – PRETENDER FANATIC – RAMICA – Be blessed!


	4. A Different Perspective

Disclaimer – I only own The Cat – oh, and all the 'crawlies' under Red's (Raph's) bed. Maybe a few of the dust bunnies, too!

CHAPTER 4 – A Different Perspective.

I can always predict what the one wearing red will do. The moment he comes into my presence, he tries to stare me down. Now, this is only asking for trouble and I'm at a loss why he's too stupid to figure it out. Normally I would only look away and busy myself with some much needed grooming, but with the creature wearing red, he just seems to challenge me. He's become my personal angst, someone who seems always to get my fur to fly, a creature that likes to dare me.

Well, I never back down from a challenge…not from barkers, acorn eaters, dust-bunnies, or even flies! Skin-biters may be a different bother all together, but that's only because they're invisible. I can't find them to save my life, but they make my life so miserable sometimes I'd be willing to lose it if it would mean getting rid of them all together.

Still, the one in red seemed determine to ask for more trouble than he can handle.

I'm more than willing to answer him, too.

One of his biggest dares would be his room. He knows that any door left open is an invitation for me. If you don't want me in, close the door, right? Well, as I said, he's probably too stupid to figure it out because it seems he's always leaving his bedroom door open - and, I'm always going in. How can I not when the rewards for doing such are so great! If it weren't for the creature in red, I'd be bored tailless – not that it almost didn't happened a few times because of him. Thank goodness, I move faster than he does - fast enough to keep out of harms way, at least! I learned that it was quite important, too. If one wasn't quick enough, one could end up a doormat in no time flat! At least, that was what Red was always threatening to do if ever he caught me!

What exactly is a doormat, anyway?

Aside from being swift, I discovered a few other tips about living here in the sewers to be beneficial. I learned all the proper words for things that helped me to understand what was what. Doors, tables, chairs, kitchen – food! Yep, my best friend in this place – the Splinter – decided to take me on as his student. He actually tried to talk to me; not in my language, but he would point to things and utter sounds that, after a time, I would figure out what they were. Didn't I already say that I was smart! Well, I determined that the kitchen had food and the door let me out. In addition, chair or couch was what they all sat on. Sometimes I would sit on them, as well, but only if Blue, Orange, or Purple were there already. Red was not one I felt like curling up with, not after I accepted his challenge that one day.

I'd been here for a good week and was exploring a little more of the cage, or lair as they called it. Personally, if I couldn't come and go freely from the sewer to the lair, it was pretty much a cage to me. That was one thing that the Splinter did not teach me, how to open the main door. Maybe one day he will. I can only hope.

Anyway, I was exploring the many halls – another neat word - and found all but one door closed. I poked my head inside and found the room to be empty. Satisfied that I could snoop around unmolested, I ventured in and decided to check under the thing that they called a bed. I just knew there were crawlies beneath it, which I dearly loved. Although they crunched at first, their tasty insides nearly melted in my mouth. I could actually eat myself sick with them, I really could! I tried to share my stash one time with Orange, but all he did was throw it way. I was quite crestfallen, you can be sure. It was a gift and all he did was toss it. At least he could have given it back. I would have eaten it!

So, here I was under this bed finding to my delight a few snacks along the way, when Red waltzes in. Obviously, because of where I was, he couldn't see me, but I knew he was there. I was very quiet as I watched him, too. All I could see were his legs, but I knew it was he, no doubt. I had already tried to use them as a scratching post a few days before. My claws were itchy and he was standing so still and was so quiet, I didn't think he would mind. I guess I was wrong. Anyway, I recognized my work right away in the scratches I left behind that were now part of his legs.

As I lay there under the bed, I listened quietly. I never made a movement or a sound. I had found that, except for me, he and the others were the quietest creatures I had ever known. My other captors were so easy to find and they could never sneak up on me to scare me, either. I found them to be quite silly when they would try, too, but that's another story.

As I watched Red, I noticed that he hadn't closed his door yet. This was a bit of good news. The last thing I would want was to be stuck in the same room with him. For one thing, he had a worse attitude than I did. Second, I always made him mad and I knew that if I couldn't get out, I'd be a rat on a string - no offense to the Splinter, of course. Third, he didn't have any preferable food to eat – other than the crawlies under his bed. Like I said, I could eat myself sick with them, but he had a limited supply as it was – and I had pretty much depleted it already.

Needless-to-say, I was wondering how best to get out of his room. I waited until he was well into the paper thing he enjoyed looking at. I could hear him rustle what he called the pages, so I rightly figured he was playing with it again. I could never understand his fascination with it, either. I had noticed once before when I was in his room that on the front there were images of ones like my captors and creatures that were not unlike Red and his other friends. Inside were just bits of paper with scratches and more images on them that seemed to make sense to Red. Yet for the life of me, I didn't see its importance. Still, if it kept him preoccupied, I'd be happy enough to leave him to it.

However, just as I thought for sure I would make it out safely, he spied me.

Now, one has to understand the nature of me. I love a good back scratch. Don't touch my tummy, but feel free to scratch my back a good one. Well, at first that's what Red started to do. He had been on his bed when I slithered out from underneath. I was quite surprised that he had noticed me, too. He made some guttural sounds that humorously sounded as if he was sweet-talking me. Considering how he was around the others, I thought it all too hilarious. If only I could speak their language, I think I would have some mighty good ways of embarrassing him.

Anyway, his hand found my back and began to massage along my spine. The closer he came to the base of my tail, the happier I was. Maybe this would be the one time where he and I might actually get along with each other. I couldn't help but stand on my tiptoes as he continued to scratch the base of my tail; it felt so good.

However – and I did mention how stupid he was – Red did what everyone else learned quickly enough not to do. He suddenly picked me up.

Now, being picked up is not one of my favorite things to have happen. For one, I like to feel my feet on the ground, not dangling up in the air. Orange and Purple can carry me around, but they make sure to keep my feet on something solid, either their arm or their chest. Second, I'm not in control, someone else is and if there's one thing I can't stand is to not being in control! I have to say that Orange and Purple know when to put me down. It only took them one time to find out what happened when they didn't. Third, considering how loud and aggressive Red could get, I didn't have a clue what he was going to do. For all I knew, he might have had a less noble plan concerning me.

Well, I soon found myself on the bed with this creature. It all happened so fast I was sort of stunned. His scratching of my back had stopped and now, to add insult to injury, he was starting to rub my tummy. To me, that only meant one thing – attack. I've had my share of battles with my own kind and that's the most vulnerable spot I have! It only makes me want to shred whoever it is who's touching me there.

Case in point, I had reacted as I would have normally with any like challenge. I whipped around and found all four sets of my claws and my teeth embedded into his upper leg – or arm, as I've heard them call it. The next thing that happened I heard Red make a noise that would have received appreciative nods in the alleyway behind where I used to live. Many of my kind would often join up and try to outdo one another with as loud a yowl as they could muster. Red would have probably won the prize with his rendition. Then again, I doubt very much he would have cared the least bit in that moment.

The next thing I knew, he was tossing me about, while I was holding on to his arm for dear life. I wanted to let go, but his skin was so tough that, once my claws were unsheathed, they just wouldn't release. It wasn't my fault, either. The more he swung me around, the more I held on. For kitten's sake, I was scared and he only made it worse by flinging me about. I finally stopped biting him, hoping that would help, but as I found myself slipping down along his arm and dragging my claws with me, his noise just became louder. Now, I have to say that all of this took place in quick order. It may sound like it took minutes for all of this to happen. It didn't. I guess for Red that would be a good thing. Because I believe he was quite miserable. For that matter, so was I! Honestly, I don't think I'd ever been swung around so fast as what Red did to me. I almost felt like getting sick. Well, I did have a hairball that was ready to let fly, but I decided to wait on it for another time. Maybe after he calmed down – which wasn't going to happen any time soon, believe me!

Just as I hit the floor, I saw him whip out these metal fork things from his side – similar to what the Splinter and the others use to push food into their mouths. Only, Red's was bigger – much bigger, in fact. One of them 'accidentally' dropped right next to me, sticking into the wood box I think they call a dresser. It just missed me, too. That was when I decided that leaving would be a good idea. I raced out the room so fast that it took a minute for Red to recover from his shock. By the time I landed in the Splinter's lap, Red finally made it to the living room where I sat looking thoughtfully at him while the Splinter stroked me. All Red did was growl, which began some sort of discussion between him and the Splinter.

I honestly think Red is the dumbest one of the bunch. If the others can figure out not to touch me where they shouldn't, why can't he? I did notice, though, that I had made some rather nice bloody runs on his arm. I felt that even with all the shaking he had done to me, I had left behind a perfectly long-lasting reminder for him never to scratch my belly again. Yep, I'm quite certain he'll avoid repeating that experience any time soon!

Then again, I did say he was dumb!

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_Comments - To all who read and reviewed, your much appreciated! __PHOENIX-RISING – __PRETENDER FANATIC – __HAZLOV2004 – __PYRO__ DE__ SCORPIO – __BUSLADY OF SOCAL – __RAMICA. Be blessed._


	5. Stuck on You

_DISCLAIMER: The Cat belongs to me – he really does! All other characters belong to E&L. _

Chapter 5 – Stuck on You

"Trust me, Raph!" Mike exclaimed exuberantly, "This is gonna cure all your problems!"

"You know, Mikey," Raph chided, "Every time you say that, something bad happens – and I'm the one worse for wear!"

"Not this time, Bro!" his youngest brother assured him. He began to whistle a merry tune as the two turtles ambled along through the sewer system. "April says that she has a friend who did the same thing to hers and she hasn't had any problems since. I'm completely confident this will work!" Mike then gave Raph a friendly slap on the back of his shell and picked up the pace.

Later, at April's the two turtles were lounging on her couch while she fetched a couple glasses of iced tea for them.

"Hey, you guys ever handled something like this before? I mean, you know you have to do each one separately, don't you?" April asked as she reemerged from the kitchen, carrying two glasses of tea. Mike and Raph each took one and drank eagerly. She took the chair across from them and watched as her friends downed their beverage in one long gulp.

Finally, coming up for air, Mike remarked, his eyes bright, "Hey, we can handle anything, Ap. I mean, how hard can it be? It's just bits of vinyl, some glue, and that's it?"

Catching the confidence of his brother, Raph chimed in, "Yeah, plus there's two of us! Between Mike and me, we've got it covered!" He grinned big, forgetting his insecurities from earlier.

"Well, okay. Just remember, once the glue is set, it's near impossible to get off." April then rose from her seat and went into her bedroom. She came out a moment later carrying a store bag. Handing the bag to Mike, she then offered, "You can always do it here. I wouldn't mind. Might be kind of fun, actually."

"Naw, I don't think doing it outside of the sewers will work too well. Might be more difficult, in fact. At least down in the lair, the escape routes are limited." Mike replied seriously.

April nodded and then noticed Raph's legs and arms. "Good night, you really did get victimized!" She did her best to hide her smirk, but to no avail. Thinking about the twelve-pound ball of black and white fir that had bested the turtle was just too hilarious. She giggled at the thought but then shoved it back when she noticed Raph's less than amused expression.

"It hurt, okay; it wasn't fun. Thought I was going to bleed to death!" he said defensively, absentmindedly rubbing his one scarred arm.

"Of all the injuries you've had and then you get down-sized by a cat! Too much!" she guffawed. "Well, hopefully Gentle Paws will help solve that problem." Then she asked, almost as an afterthought, "Does Splinter know about your plans?"

The two on the couch went mute and gave her as passive a stare as they could muster. April looked at them both and realized that they were doing this on the sly, "You're doing this to Splinter's cat and you're not going to tell him?"

Mike cleared his throat, "He doesn't feel it's fair to the cat to punish him when he believes the problem is Raph."

"But, this isn't punishment; it just makes his claw less effective." April countered.

"Exactly Splinter's point. He's convinced that it will lessen the cat's ability to protect himself." Raph replied.

"But, you live in the sewers. Last time I checked your cat's the only one I've seen down there and I know for a fact that dogs don't roam the tunnels." The woman commented. "Still, the fact that Splinter has a pet is just too much. Never in my wildest dreams…" She began to laugh again and this time she did get a smirk from Raphael as well as one from Mikey.

Later on back at the lair, Mike was reading the instructions in the infirmary. His brother was waiting nervously as he watched The Cat explore the room. Mike had done the honors of fetching the feline since Raph had enough experience not to. Fortunately, for the turtle in red, The Cat was more interested in hunting for bugs than he was in tormenting his scratching post for the moment. "So, what d'the 'nstructions say?" he asked his brother.

"Well, you take one cat, dab a bit of glue inside a vinyl nub and then slip the nub over one unsheathed claw. Wait a moment and then do the next one like the first. The glue is supposed to set up almost instantly." Mike explained, continuing on, "Says here that once it's dried, the cat won't be able to even chew them off!" He looked at his tormented brother and grinned, "Sounds – perfect!" He beamed up at Raphael and commented, "No more scratching post!"

"Ah huh, well, just so I don't get ripped to shreds in the process. So, you gonna glue or hold?" Raph asked.

"Hmm…what would you rather do? You're the one he doesn't like?" Mike countered.

"Good question." Raph looked at the cat. The feline, now bored with his luckless search, was currently making his way over to them. The turtle stiffened. "Maybe you can get him first and put him on the table." He quickly suggested.

"'Kay!" Mike then stooped and picked up the cat, placing the animal onto the examination table. He stroked the cat behind the ears and went over its back, ending his fingers at the base of the tail. The animal stood up high on his back toes as the Mike continued to scratch, soon beginning to purr. "Well, he's in his good mood mode; now for the nubbing!" He snickered as The Cat turned a pleased face up at him. "Yep, he's in the zone all right!" Then, Mike looked at Raph and asked him, "So, you want to handle his claws or should I?"

"How are we supposed to do this again?" Raphael asked.

"One of us has to hold him while the other puts glue in the nub and then the nub on each claw. So, what part do you want to do?" Mike asked.

As Raph thought about it and all the ways that it could possibly go wrong, he decided that holding the cat would be safer – for him. At the very least, if things went south in a hurry, he could always let go of the beast. His worse nightmare would be to end up glued to the cat. "I'll hold 'em. Maybe if I position myself behind and have him facing you, he won't know it's me." He hoped.

Nodding his head, Mike agreed, "Yeah, I think that'll work. He seems to like me, so…" Looking back down at The Cat, the turtle in orange smiled, "Okay, Sweetie, time for a little claw nubbing! Daddy's not gonna hurt ya, just making things easier for Raphie!"

His brother wrinkled his muzzle up, "Sweetie? Daddy? RAPHIE? Are you insane! This cat doesn't have a clue what those words mean."

"Raph," Mike replied in mock indignation, "It's not the words; it's the tone behind the words. Cats like the 'e' sounds, or haven't you been paying attention. Just ask Donnie; he's done all kinds of research!"

About then, another voice popped in, "Ask me what?" It was Donnie.

Raph, nearly startled, turned around, "Hey, stop sneaking up on people."

"I'm ninja, Raph, it's what I do. Get a grip for crying out loud." Then Don noticed The Cat, "Say, what are you doing to Splinter's pet?"

Mike gulped a little, but then realized his opportunity, "Ah, we're going to protect the cat's claws so he – ah – doesn't snag them so much on stuff. Like carpets, the couch, our beds…"

Don added, "Or Raphael. Yeah, I get it." He looked around the two and saw the Gentle Paws package. As it occurred to him what they were really going to do, his eyes went slightly wide, "You know that Splinter was against this, don't you?"

Raph shot back defensively, "It's not his legs The Cat goes after, either. So, considerin' I've been his target, I think I've some say on this matter!"

Don nodded his head in sympathy, yet adding, "I can only imagine, though, how many back flips you're going to be doing once he figures out what you did to his cat." He then looked over at the package and commented, "Supposed to work from what the ads on the Internet have said." Smirking as he turned back to the two, he asked, "Can I watch?"

Raph narrowed his eyes, "We're not Entertainment Weekly, okay. If you're going to be in here…" and before he could answer, another voice piped in.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" It was Leo this time.

Raph rolled his eyes, muttering, "Just great, one more person to explain this to."

Don turned towards the newly arriving brother and explained, "Gluing covers on the cat's claws. Wanna watch?"

Before either Mike or Raph could protest, Leo brightened, "This ought to be interesting. Sure!" He then took up a stool that was nearby and plopped himself down on it.

Mike looked at the two and then declared, "From this moment on, you both become accessories to the crime at hand. Regardless of the outcome, you know nothing, you say nothing!"

Both Don and Leo made as if they were locking their lips and then throwing the 'key' away. Their grins widened in expectation. Don took up a chair, twirled it around so he faced the back, and sat down, his arms draped over the top. He now focused intently on the operation at hand.

"Great!" Mike brightened, "Now, on with the nubs!" He then turned towards the cat and stroked him one more time. Mike looked at Raph and directed, "Gently hold onto him. Don't grab him; just kind of clutch him lightly like."

Leo couldn't resist, "You know, like a purse!"

Raphael glared at his older brother, "When we're done with kitty here, I'd like to super-glue your lips together!" Then he went back to the present task.

Both Don and Leo chuckled, settling in to watch with rapt fascination as their surlier brother hesitated for just a moment. They saw him swallow a little in nervousness. Realizing that his noncommittal brothers were watching him, Raphael reached over with both hands and held on to the cat. The animal stiffened just a bit, not sure what to expect. However, with his feet still firmly placed on the table, The Cat relaxed once it became certain he wasn't being picked up. Laid out on the table before him were the nubs and the glue, the nubs in a shallow pan while the tube of glue rested nearby. Taking a pair of scissors, Mike nipped off the end of the tube and then picked up one of the small nubs.

He eyed the tiny piece of vinyl covering carefully, commenting, "Sheesh sure is small. Hmm..." He turned it over to expose the underside and the hallow area where the glue was suppose to go. Taking up the tube of adhesive, he gently squeezed just a dab into the center of the hole and then, once he sat the tube down, went for The Cat's right paw.

Initially, the cat didn't know what was going on. Mike had the first nub on the first claw before the creature could react. However, the animal quickly pulled his paw away out of reflex and meowed. Well, more to the point, he growled. He looked up at Mike, not at all sure what was happening. Mike grinned big, first at Raph and then at his other brothers, "See, nothing to it. Just go ninja quick and he won't know what's doin'!"

Donnie and Leo smirked even wider. "Well, so - now you've done one and there's nineteen more to go, right?" Don remarked.

Mike's enthusisam waned just a little but then he cheered once more, "Hey, if I can get one done every ten seconds, that's three minutes. Less than five, give or take a little coaxing!"

Therefore, not wasting any more time, the turtle turned his attention back to the cat.

Raph, however, wasn't so sure if this was a good idea, now. He could feel the cat rumble as it began to growl low and menacingly. He was certain the beast didn't care at all what was going on. Whatever it was, the cat didn't like it. Still, Raph felt that if he could just hold on long enough and if Mike could work fast enough, all his problems would be over with in a hurry.

Mike took up another nub, placed a small bit of glue in it, and then reached for the cat's right paw once again. That was when all hell broke loose.

First, the animal exploded into a mass of teeth and claws, well, nineteen claws anyway. He whirled around faster than any ninja and sank his teeth deeply into Raph's right hand. While Raph was yelping painfully and shaking his hand while jumping around, the cat scattered the nubs in all directions. In the process of trying to get off the table, he squashed the tube of glue, which then spewed out a fine spray of the liquid adhesive.

Mike tried to grab the cat but instead ended up getting in the way of the glue. Now, the sticky stuff covered the front of his plastron.

Almost in the same moment, Leo and Don leaped out of the way of the enraged feline, knowing full well the penalty for getting between him and his exit. Raph, however, was recovering quite well from the bite, eyeing Mike with a venomous glare.

"It's all your fault, you moron! He BIT me again!" and then charged at his brother.

"NO! Raph, don't, stop, keep away!" Mike screamed with his hands out in front of him. However, Raph charged him anyway, barreling into his brother like a bull in a China shop.

Meanwhile, The Cat made good his escape, careening out of the infirmary and down the hallway towards Splinter's room. The moment the cat scrambled into the rat's domain, Splinter woke up from his meditation. "What is going on?" he asked the cat, as if the creature might answer him. He noticed the animal shake his right paw, as if it were wet, so he bent down to gently pick him up. Splinter soon noticed something strange protrude from one of its paws. Upon closer inspection, he saw the one successfully applied nail nub and figured out what was going on. However, before he could even put the cat down, he heard a long string of cuss words and yelling coming from outside his room. As he moved into the hallway, the yelling became louder from the direction of the infirmary. Yet, he could also hear laughing as well. More to the point, there appeared to be two people laughing, and they sounded very much like Don and Leo "What did they do now?" he sighed as he made for the room.

As Splinter walked into the infirmary, Don and Leo were blocking the way, both doubled over and laughing hysterically. At the sound of a throat clearing, Leo turned around, tears streaming down his face. However, he stopped immediately when saw his sensei. He quickly nudged Don to be quiet and tried to resume a respectful pose. Splinter eyed them both suspiciously but then his attention drew to the other two turtles who stood further into the room. At first, he was puzzled. Something wasn't quite right with them. Narrowing his eyes a little as if that would make things clearer, he was still not sure he was seeing correctly. However, the more he stared the more he understood what had happened.

There, standing plastron-to-plastron, muzzle-to-muzzle and unable to do anything about it, was Mike and Raph, super glued together. Mike had the most pathetic look on his face while Raphael fumed, his eyes blazing in fury.

Don decided a simple explanation was in order. Barely suppressing a chuckle, he declared, "Mike decided to super glue nail nubs to the cat's claws."

Leo added, "Raph tried to – hmm - help." He nearly collapsed as he failed to suppress the giggle that exploded out of him.

Splinter looked at the two turtles in question. The corners of his mouth twitched a little as he observed them standing there, forlorn and glued together at the chest, face to face. His eyes watered just a bit as he attempted self-control. Yet, all he could say in response was, "I assume you failed in your attempt?" Leo slapped a hand over his mouth as he barked out a laugh. Then, looking at Don, the rat suggested, "I can also assume that you will assist in 'unsticking' them, as well." He then turned tail as quickly as he could and retreated to his room, saying as he shook his head in dismay, "Idiots."

Wrinkling his nose, all Raphael could muster was, "Geeze, Mike, don't you ever brush!"

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**_Comments - Thanks to all who took the time to read and then review - _****_BUSLADY OF SOCAL_****_RAMICA_****_PRETENDER FANATIC_****_HAZLOV2004_****_PHOENIX-RISING_**_: Be blessed_


	6. Boy Genius

**_DISCLAIMER_**_: Sorry about the long delay. Writer's block again – at least with this one and a few others. I can't top chapter 5 and I refuse to try, but where this is a humor-based story, I hope I can at least get you to chuckle! Maybe two more chapters and then 'the end'. _

_To state the obvious, I don't own the TMNT's. Only The Cat, aka Buster… and the pizza…which is all gone and that means none for you. Bwahahaha! R&R :0)_

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**CHAPTER 6 – BOY GENIUS**

Three forms came barreling into the lair from the sewers, quickly closing the door behind them.

"PIZZA'S HERE!" Mikey yelled out!

The cat leaped frantically off its master's lap, startled by all the commotion. He had only been in the company of these strange creatures for less than two weeks, but it was still unnerving to him the way the one in orange would act. He was loud and boisterous, but at the same time, Mikey would make sure the cat had first dibs on any cheese stuck to the pizza box! That was his saving grace, too. The Cat liked Mikey best of all, second to Splinter. Then, Leo and Donatello were next in line. However, the Cat definitely had it in for Raphael.

"HEY, RAPHAEL!" Mike yelled again.

From down the hallway, his brother replied just as loud, "Just keep yer shirt on…I'll be there when I get there!"

Mike looked at Leo, puzzled, "How can I keep my shirt on when I don't wear any clothes?"

Leo shoved his younger bother playfully, smiling, "Might be an improvement if you did, ever think about that?"

"Ooo, hey, humor! From the serious dude, no less! What a concept!" Mike giggled as he sat the two pizza boxes down on the kitchen table. He then stared at the hallway from which he expected his brother. Tapping his foot impatiently, he waited – for about two seconds. Then…

"COME ON, RAPH, WE'RE STARVING IN HERE!" Mike bellowed out.

"Michelangelo, you will please keep your voice down." Splinter admonished from his rocker. He then stood up to join his sons.

"Yes, Sensei. Hey, Cat, want some _cheese_?" Mikey entreated as he noticed the cat.

"Cheeeese" was a word that the Cat was becoming quite familiar. It almost rated right up there with "Tu-na". He quickly hopped onto the table where the two boxes of pizza were waiting. He pleaded with a short '_meow'_, rubbing the boxes in his attempt to let them know he wanted inside.

"Say, you'll just have to wait your turn, Cat." Leo admonished. He tried to reach over and gently shove the animal off the table, but in the next moment, a set of claws racked across his hands. The Cat remained where he was however and went back to the pizza box, loving it some more with his face.

"OW!" Leo yelled, tenderly holding his now bleeding hand while he pulled back away from the table. "What was THAT for?" he grumbled at the Cat. He looked at his wound and was grateful for the one claw currently encased with the vinyl nub.

"Maybe he doesn't care for turtle pizza?" Donnie said as he smiled at his offended brother.

"Eww, gross!" Mike complained, "Donnie, you need to stop talking like that!"

"Well, it's true…there are people who eat turtles." He said casually, taking a seat at the table.

As he leaned against Donatello's chair, Leo looked at his brainy brother and shook his head sadly, "Sometimes, Don, knowledge is a dangerous thing, you know that," at which the other looked up at him and smirked.

"Yeah, dangerous AND sick" Mike remarked and then threw his hands up into the air, yelling again at the hallway, but with more force, "Hey, RAPH, get yer TAIL in here!"

"_Michelangelo_!" Splinter admonished sternly, taking his walking stick and rapping it against Mike's plastron, "Raphael will arrive soon; be patient!"

"Yes, Sensei." He replied sheepishly, grinning as he rubbed his chest.

Finally, Raphael made his appearance. Yet for all it was worth, he looked more like a motorcycle accident. With bandages wrapped around his left arm and around his right leg, it was apparent he had a run-in with the Cat again. A few scrapes were evident on his face, as well, complimenting his one scar that Leo had given him years ago.

"Say, you get too personal with a lawn mower or something?" Mike chided, sniggering, as he well knew who had done the honors.

"I'd LIKE to take a lawnmower to the one who did it!" Raph sneered, eyeing the Cat with an angry expression.

"So glad we managed that one nail nub on him, bro, otherwise you could look a whole lot worse!" Mike laughed, thoroughly enjoying his brother's torment.

Raph rewarded him with a slug in the arm, "Don't get smart, dipstick."

Mike quickly turned away from him and then asked, "So, how many does this make for you? Thirty, fifty, a hundred?" He danced around the table, putting it between himself and his surly brother.

"How about we count them out on your head, Gimme your chuks..." Raph exclaimed as he tried to take off after Mike. However, his brother quickly dashed over to stand just behind Master Splinter, sticking his tongue out at Raphael as if quite pleased with himself.

Nonetheless, he soon felt the rap of the rats walking stick on his head, hearing his sensei admonish him, "You will be quiet and settle down, Michelangelo. Raphael has had enough grief without you adding to it."

Raph grinned, counting, "That's one..."

"Well, you just need to be careful when you pick the cat up, is all." Donnie remarked, "I mean, even Leo got nailed a moment ago because he wasn't being careful."

Splinter looked on, smiled, and then went into the kitchen to grab some plates.

All three turtles looked at Don and shook their heads. He straightened up defensively, "It's true." Looking at his blue-bandanna brother, "Leo, you reached in front of him, which, as everyone knows, is a threatening gesture. If you had come around the table like this…" Donnie moved slowly around the table and stopped behind the cat, "and let him know that you mean no harm." now he gently reached out and stroked the Cat's back. With his tail in an exclamation, the feline arched up and stood on his tiptoes as Don's massage continued. The black ball of fur began to purr contentedly.

Everyone watched - waiting, hoping, anticipating.

Don continued, "Then slip one hand under his belly while supporting his hind legs with the other…"

Every other breath now held expectantly.

"…and, then, finally pick him up!" Now, Donnie had the Cat in his arms. He turned the creature around so it could rest its front paws on the turtle's shoulder. Don grinned back at his brothers, completely smug about his success and lesson in how to handle the Cat. He wasn't the boy genius for nothing. "See, simple as that." He chortled proudly.

All three held back their smiles, trying to act impressed, nodding their heads approvingly - and then waited.

They didn't have to wait too long

As Don turned his head back to look at the Cat and to praise it for its good behavior, the Cat pinned his ears. Facing Don and then letting out a menacing growl, he nailed him right on his snout. Don let out a sound much like a wounded cow. Leaping away from his victim, the Cat pushed off with his back feet, digging his claws deep into Don's plastron. Yet, another interesting howl came from the ninja. Between holding his nose and gripping his chest, Don leaped about screaming something about skinning and stuffing. Then he tried to mumble some expletives, but the words came out too muffled by his covered nose to understand what he was saying.

In the meantime, his brothers doubled up in hysterics as they watched their victimized brother dance around the living area as he headed for the hallway and infirmary.

While they were distracted however, the Cat had found its way back up onto the kitchen table, nosing the box and trying to find his way inside.

"Hey, thanks for the lesson in animal care, Donnie-boy!" Raph bellowed out. He held his sides while he laughed, watching his injured brother head quickly towards the infirmary.

"SHUT - UP!" came a curt reply from the hallway. A moment passed with the sound of someone rummaging frantically through a cabinet and then…"HEY, where's the peroxide…" was Don's next statement. "…and the BANDAGES?"

Raph doubled up some more, "I've used it all, bro, you'll have to go topside to get more!"

They all could then hear Don groan in misery.

Leo hollered out, "Say, while you're at it, why not pick-up a book on how to handle dangerous kitty cats, too!"

"Funny, Leo, you're a real comedian today!" was Don's response.

Then, Leo then turned around to head for the kitchen sink to wash his own wound off. Yet, as he did so, he let out a groan himself.

"Say, DONNIE..." Leo yelled out, shaking his head in dismay.

"WHAT NOW!" he replied in exasperation.

"Ah, ya think you could pick up more pizza, too?" Leo answered.

Mike and Raph turned around to see what Leo was talking about and when they did their eyes went wide. Mike put his hands to his face and moaned while Raph growled menacingly.

"Why?" Don asked irritably as he came back into the living room. Yet as he did so, he soon found out why.

There, content and happy, was the Cat. He had succeeded in nosing his way into the box and was currently smack dab in the middle of the pizza, eating cheese like no tomorrow.

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**_Comments - Thanks to the following for leaving their thoughts behind - _****_PHOENIX_****_ RISING_****_DRAGON BALL GOKU_****_RAMICA_****_HAZLOV2004_****_GEMDRIVE2000_****_PRETENDER FANATI_**_C. Be blessed._


	7. Decisions

DISCLAIMER: This is a shortee…just something that popped into my head and motivated by my desperate need to finish this fic. Hope it measures up, nonetheless. Oh, and I only own the cat. Be blessed.

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CHAPTER 7 – Decisions

"I have made a decision."

All four ninjas looked up at their master, wondering what kind of decision he had made. The rat walked into the living area, his cane tapping the floor as he did. He stood, now, at the table, looking at the four who were seated, their newly arrived second pizza nearly gone. The Cat lay by Mike's feet, content after nearly devouring all the cheese from the first pizza.

Raphael remembered the last time he had made such a declaration. That was when Splinter thought that their ninja practices weren't intense enough, so he added additional practice times. As Raph looked at his sensei, dread filled his mind.

Leonardo pondered about what his master had just said, too. A decision could mean many things, as far as he was concerned. It could mean more practice time, or less – but he highly doubted the latter. Maybe a different patrol route. Possibly even adding to their armament and enhancing their weapons collections. Leo waited expectantly.

Mike shook his head, not at all looking forward to whatever it was Master Splinter had to say. The last time the rat had decided on something, it meant less to eat. It seemed he thought his sons were gaining too much weight and so he limited their food intake for a while –as well as adding more practice time in the dojo. He put his head in his hands and groaned.

Donatello wondered if maybe Splinter might have finally decided to let him search out that bigger junk yard on the other side of Manhattan. He had tried recently to explain to his sensei the importance of outfitting the lair with as many high tech gadgets as he could, yet the current junk yard was nearly tapped out. Consequently, he needed better 'fishing' grounds. A smile spread across his face in anticipation.

Leo finally asked, confident about what his master had decided, "Are we going to maybe add to our weapons collection or patrol a new route?"

Splinter shook his head and replied, "No." As he was about to explain his decision, Raphael spoke up next.

"Are you going to add to our practice time, Sensei?" He groaned out.

"No, but that isn't such a bad idea, Raphael." The rat answered. "Thank you for showing such interest!" He seemed pleased.

Mike and Donatello both groaned, with Mike kicking Raphael in the leg, "Nice goin', _Raph_!" he seethed.

Leo smiled.

"Hey, how was I to know?" the turtle in red replied defensively, now rubbing his sore shin.

Mike ventured a guess as he grimaced, "Are – you going to put us on another – diet?" His voice weakened just a little as he uttered the last word. He was sure, with the other two being incorrect, that his was the most likely.

Master Splinter scowled down at his sons and shook his head once again, saying somewhat irritably, "No, I am not."

Mike let out an audibly sigh, quite relieved and, therefore, a bit more chipper.

Again, as Splinter started to explain, he was interrupted, this time by Donatello.

The purple masked turtle asked, quite confident that his assumptions were correct, "Cool, that means you're giving me the okay to check out that newer junk yard!"

"No, I will not, Donatello." Splinter said in exasperation. He saw his son's smile fade, obviously crestfallen and disappointed.

Leo was totally confused, "Then, what have you decided, Master Splinter?"

Sighing in frustration, the rat answered, "If you had been patient, I would have told you by now."

All four then asked him, "Told us what?"

"That I have made a decision…" he began, pausing to grab their attention, "…that the cat must be returned to topside and if at all possible, be given back to its true owner."

Mike stared in disbelief at his master. Leo rubbed the top of his hand and tried not to smile, as did Donatello, whose didn't have much of a choice in that matter. His face was already too stiff with bandages to grin as it was.

Raphael, however, leaped up out of his chair, pumping his fist in the air and giving out a cheer so loud, that the Cat jumped up in fright. Tearing away from Mike in his desperate rush to hide, the Cat dashed for the couch…only Raphael was in his way. With his fear motivating him and his way blocked, the Cat did the only thing he could – he ran in between the turtle's legs. This would have been quite fine except that Raph hadn't seen him. He was too busy pumping air and leaping up while shouting for joy. Consequently, when he came down from one of his exuberant leaps, he landed right on top of the Cat's tail.

The rest shall remain untold for those with tender ears and my need to keep this story rated PG. It goes without saying that Raphael earned a few more battle scars and the Cat lost one vinyl nail nub through the aforementioned scene.


	8. Moving Day!

_**DISCLAIMER**: Only own The Cat. Yeppers, I'm on a role, determined to end this story once and for all. Epilogue to follow – soon, maybe by tomorrow! Yippee!_

CHAPTER 8 – MOVING DAY

"Bandages?

"Check!"

"Iodine?"

"Check!"

"Neosporin?"

"Check!"

"You sure we have enough bandages?"

"Raph, I'm sure, okay?"

"Mike, you know I'm a magnet for that cat and not in the best way, either!" Raph complained. He looked at his youngest brother and noted that he was virtually scratch-free.

He hated him.

"Just make sure I don't have to carry him, okay?"

Mike replied, "Okay, I get it already...I'll carry him."

"Goes for me, too." Leo exclaimed, nodding eagerly while scratching at his scabbed hand.

"Me three!" Don added, rubbing his heavily bandaged nose.

"You guys are SO pathetic..." Mike teased, "...a bunch of sissies for ninjas."

"Look," Raph growled out, "I just don't wanna end up look'n like a mummy by the time I get to April's!" He seemed to be nothing but bandages as he looked over his damaged body.

"If you don't stop complaining, it won't take a cat to do the JOB!" Mike exclaimed irritably as he put the gauze tape into the first aid kit. He was not happy about having to get rid of The Cat; he rather liked the furry ball of claws and teeth. It wasn't HIS fault the others didn't know how to handle the feline. It wasn't HIS fault The Cat liked him better. Yet, even though Splinter enjoyed having the animal for a pet, the rat had finally decided they had all suffered enough.

Well, as far as Raph was concerned. His chest still hurt from the solvent Donnie had to use inorder to pry Mike off of him, after getting super glued together when they attempted to 'nub' The Cat's claws.

Nevertheless,Splinter explained his reasons a while earlier.

"I have decided that with all the bacteria the cat might carry, we are only biding time before one of us develops an infection." He had looked over at Raphael when he said this, wrinkling his nose in disappointment. "Where one of us can't seem to leave well enough alone, the only course we have is to either find the animal's original owner or – " Here the rat paused for just a moment.

Mike remembered feeling terrified about what the other 'course' could be, knowing that a lot of unwanted pets ended up in the pound and eventually destroyed. His eyes welled up with tears at the thought, arguments to keep the cat coming to mind, and anger building within him as he anticipated what his sensei would say next.

Splinter continued, "Or we can find a home for him with someone who can tolerate his – _personality_." He swallowed a little, obviously not at all pleased himself with the decision he felt forced to make.

Mike had such relief that he almost laughed out loud, except for the obviously sad mood of his sensei. He already knew that The Cat had a special place in the rat's heart and it was probably very difficult for him to make the choice to give the beast up.

Now, they were preparing to leave for April's where they would 'store' the cat until they could find the original owner. April had been more than delighted where she actually had a fondness for cats. "But don't expect me to take him in permanently. My lease contract forbids having pets," she had warned them. If she were still living at her old place, above her father's second hand store, in her mind there wouldn't have been any question. However, after the fire a year ago, it was no longer livable. Consequently, she had to lease an apartment instead.

"Hey, Ap, no problemo...we'll find the owner or someone who'll take the cat!" Raph had assured her over the phone.

Now they were trudging through the sewers with Mike holding the squirming kitty. Raph sneered, "Even when the cat wants down he doesn't scratch you...life can be so unfair, sometimes."

"Say, when you have the touch..." Mike chortled smugly.

"Besides your head, you mean?" Leo chided as he walked alongside.

"Aw, guys, com'on...there's just those people, or turtles, who have that way about them...animals can sense it." Mike explained, "Go on, Donnie; tell them."

Don rolled his eyes as he sided up to the others, "Well, it is true, but I think it's more a matter of personality on your part, Mike."

"Yeah, I'm just an easy going guy, that's me!" he laughed.

"Easy as in what, bro? You have a girlfriend or something?" Raph teased.

"Ah, well, not presently..." Mike licked his lips nervously, realizing to what his brother was alluding.

"Hey, we're here!" Leo announced as they came up to a sewer access station.

As soon as they were up and out of the sewers, they walked a ways through the alley towards April's apartment. The cat seemed quite excited being above ground once again. His ears were alert to all the sounds from cars and the hubbub of activity that bled into the deserted byway. His nose worked like crazy, as it sucked in the fresher air, bringing to his senses the smells and tastes of the city – all the while passively entrenched in Mike's firm embrace.

Finally, they made it to the fire escape and before too long were slipping into April's apartment on the top floor. She stood there watching the four turtles as they climbed through her apartment window, noticing right away the black and white ball of fur in Mike's arms.

"Oh, he's beautiful!" she cooed sweetly. However, she quickly noticed Don's bandaged-wrapped muzzle and then the rather large first aid kit under one arm. She smiled to herself, shaking her head, _"Poor guy."_

"Why thank you, Ap...I always thought I was, too!" Mike cheered.

"The cat, you dimwit!" Raph corrected him with a thump on the back of Mike's head. He then went over and plopped himself down onto the couch, stretching his arms out along the back. "Say, Ap, you sure are brave to take in this menace. I can't thank you enough."

"He really can't, he's quite happy about Splinter's decision..." Donatello explained, leaning against the couch where his brother sat.

"Yeah, I'm sure if they could talk, his legs and arms would say as much!" Leo laughed. He looked over at his brother and assessed the new 'decorations' along Raphael's legs, when earlier his foot and the cat's tail almost became one.

"Easy for you to say, funny man...you only have that one scratch!" Raph shot back.

"Yeah, but...believe me, it was enough!" Leo commented. Don nodded in agreement, rubbing his nose once again.

"Well, I have all the goods to make his TEMPORARY stay comfortable." April explained, "Mike, let's introduce him to the kitty box."

"Kitty box?" Mike asked, confused.

"Ah, yeah, you know – the litter box? Didn't you guys have a box of sand for the cat to use when he, you know, had to go?" April's nose involuntarily wrinkled in disgust.

"No, were we supposed to?" Mike asked innocently.

"Oh, that's just icky...didn't he make a mess?" April asked, her face now matching her nose.

"Well," Don explained, "We do live in a sewer, so we just sort of scooped it up and tossed it out the front door."

"Remind me to watch where I step the next time I come over!" April deadpanned as she shook her head in dismay. "Anyway, on to the bathroom."

Once she and Mike with The Cat were in the bathroom and they had shown the animal the box of sand, Mike turned to April, "You sure you can't keep him, Ap?" His look was pleading as he turned puppy-dog eyes up to hers. If he couldn't keep the cat, having a family friend take it would be better than never seeing the creature again.

Smiling, the woman replied, "Sorry, I'd get my butt booted outta here faster than you can say 'spit'." She scratched the cat's head a little, "He is cute, though. Too bad he didn't get along with everyone."

"Hey, he got along with me – and Splinter." Mike said defensively.

"Yeah, but you know that this is the right thing to do." April remarked, "If he has an owner, they're probably worried about him...and the fear of infection is a big concern, too. None of you guys can risk that, not without taking a chance of it becoming worse. That would be disastrous."

Mike sighed and then said, "Well, yeah, I guess so." Then, he looked at The Cat, sighed once, and then said to April, "Guess it's time to see if he'll take to you."

Meanwhile, Raph, Don, and Leo had the television on. They were well into the cartoon they were watching when Mike and April came out of the bathroom.

"Well, guys, looks like someone else has 'the touch'." Mike announced happily.

As the three on the couch turned around to see what Mike was talking about, there, like an insult flung into their face, was April, carrying the purring cat and without a scratch on her.

Raph could only groan, shaking his head, "Figures!"

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_**Comments - Thanks to all who reviewed after they read. **__**RAMICA**: __**GEMDRIVE2000**: _


	9. Of Cats and Men

_**DISCLAIMER:** Again, Buster's mine and all mine - much to the relief of certin mutated, ninja kicking, terrapins, who are owned by whomever. Also, Wrestlemania is the property of someone, just don't know who._

**EPILOGUE: OF CATS AND MEN**

Mike couldn't have been happier. After getting off the phone, it was obvious by his brothers that whatever April had said to their orange-bandanna brother, the news was good. They were in the kitchen, sitting around the table, finishing off yet another pizza.

"So, what? She found the owner and gave the cat back – I hope?" Raph asked as he picked his teeth with the end of one of his sai.

"Better than that!" Mike announced cheerfully, chuckling out loud.

"Aw, don't tell me…" Raph groaned as he stood up to go fetch himself a can of soda. Retrieving the cold can from the refrigerator; he popped the top and took a healthy gulp. Burping loudly, he then asked, "So, tell us, Oh cat-turtle, what's the good news?"

"She found the owner and – get this…" Mike laughed much to his joy and relief, quickly going to the same refrigerator and retrieving a can of soda for himself as well. "the owner lives in the apartment complex next to hers!" he raised his can as if to toast the news, "she was so thankful to have her kitty back that she wants April to cat-sit whenever this gal goes out of town – which I guess is often because she's in sales." He then popped the top, adding, "So that means when this gal is gone, I can visit him!" and then chugged the drink down. He bested Raph's burp with one of his own, sustaining it long and loud. Unfortunately, he caught the attention of his sensei, who then walked into the kitchen at that moment.

"MICHELANGELO!" the rat admonished, "You will mind your manners."

"But, April's not here, Sensei." The turtle replied defensively.

"No, she is not." Splinter said, "But, I am!" and he then took a seat. "So, tell me, Michelangelo, what did Miss O'Neil have to say?"

"Ah, great news, Master. She found the owner." Mike grinned from ear to ear, certainly quite happy.

"That is good news. Now The Cat is back where he belongs?" Splinter said.

"Yep and best of all, this lady wants April to cat-sit whenever she's out of town. Guess she was impressed that April had him for a whole week and not a scratch on her!"

Raph shook his head, "Figures. What is it about me? How come that cat didn't like me?" He slumped back down in his chair in a huff.

"Raphael," Splinter explained, "The Cat can only go on instincts. It cannot decide if you are worthy of his friendship simply because you have good intentions."

Raph offered a sidelong look at his sensei as if what the rat had just said was an oxymoron at best.

"I am quite aware that you tried your best to befriend him…" Splinter said, "Yet, he is, after all just a cat. He befriends who he wants, that is all there is to it."

Mike was still grinning from ear to ear as he went on to say, "Yeah and I guess you have a bit of company with that, too, bro!"

"Why's that?" Raph asked after he gulped down yet another swallow of soda, suppressing a belch.

"Well," Mike chirped, "seems Casey didn't go over very well with The Cat, either – and, oh, by the way, The Cat's name is Buster."

"Buster? I'd like to, believe me!" Raph grumbled. "So, Case had a few run-ins with the monster, did he?" That thought brought a smile to his face.

Yep, nailed him every time he came over. Ap was actually thinking of asking her super if she could keep Buster, but Case said if she did, he'd never come over again!"

Leo snickered while Don interjected, "Can't blame him. That cat's a menace."

"It was just by turn of luck that she saw the 'lost kitty' sign out front of the complex next door to hers." Mike explained.

"So, now she gets to pet sit, eh? Lucky girl." Raph sniggered. "I hope she warns us whenever she does, though; I hate that cat."

………

A week later, the boys were on their way to April's to take in an evening of DVD movies. Case was going to be there, as well. As they slipped through the window, a meow soon greeted them.

Raph, Leo, and Don starred wide-eyed in horror at the creature, not believing what they were seeing. "HEY, what's HE doing here?" all three exclaimed together.

Mike gleefully picked the cat up and rubbed his face against its furry head, "Sure missed you Cat, ah, Buster!" A deep, resonating purr rewarded him, the cat obviously just as happy to see the turtle. However, he glared at the other three, especially one in particular.

Mike sat the cat back down on the floor and looked up at April, "So, where's Case?"

April sighed, "He's such a wuss, he took off the moment he saw Buster here."

Raph growled out, "Again I ask, why is he here and why didn't you warn us?"

"The owner came by about ten minutes ago. She had a last minute call to do damage control on a business sale in Chicago; didn't have much warning herself. She was desperate." April shrugged, "I'm sorry. You guys already left the lair when I called to tell you."

By the audible groans and sighs coming from the trio of turtles who huddled fearfully by the open window, April knew the evening would be ruined for them if she didn't do something with the cat. "Tell you what, I'll put the cat in the bathroom where the litter box is; I'll put his food and water in there so he'll be happy. That way he'll be safe and so will you, how about that?"

The three looked at one another and nodded, finally turning back to April. She knew by the three grinning terrapins that she had scored a hit.

Once the cat was ensconced in the bathroom, April came back into the living area. "Well, guess I ought to make some popcorn, wanna help me Mike!"

"Sure thing, Ap." He replied, leaping up and heading off to the kitchen.

As he disappeared through the doorway, April turned to the other three who were now relaxing on the couch. "By the way, I think I know why the cat didn't like you guys."

"Why's that?" Raph asked as he placed his sai on the coffee table in front of him.

"Well, Stacy – Buster's owner – told me he hates men, anything male. Seems her ex-husband hated cats and would torment him. The cat loved to torment back and so it became a vicious cycle. One of the reasons why she left him, I guess." She paused a moment, reflecting on that thought, but dismissed it, continuing to say, "Anyway, that kind of explains why you couldn't make friends with him."

The three brothers all looked at each other, each one furrowing their eye ridges, and then all three at the same time smirked.

About that time, Mike came stepping out of the kitchen, asking, "Say, Ap, you have any more oil….ah….what?" He quickly noticed three reptilian pair of eyes looking his way.

Three sitting turtles starred amusingly at him, grinning from ear to ear, which only confused Mike even more. "What?" he asked again.

April covered her mouth to hide her smile, knowing what Mike's brothers were thinking.

Raph stood up, shaking his head sadly, "Mike, for cryin' out loud, we're all brothers, here…you could have told us."

Totally baffled, Mike shook his head and asked, "Told you what?"

Leo asked, "You know, you can't keep something like that a secret forever."

Don remarked, "It's bound to be at least one of us, you know. The odds and all."

"What are you guys going on about?" Mike was completely clueless. He noticed April sniggering behind her hand, turning away so he wouldn't notice, but he did just the same.

"What's so funny, why are you all staring at me?" Mike was becoming quite annoyed and bit uncomfortable.

Raph walked over to his brother and put his arm around his shoulder compassionately. His voice understanding and dramatically caring, "We just found out why the cat didn't like us, Mike."

"Oh, yeah? Really, how's that?" the orange turtle asked innocently, quite intrigued now.

"Well," Don stood up and moved around the couch, putting some measurable amount of room between him and his youngest brother, "it seems that the cat, or Buster as he is called, doesn't like men. He likes only – women." He grinned.

"And….that means, what?" Mike was still in the dark.

"At the very least, we know _we're_ male," Leo added as he, too, stood up to stand by Don, "and Casey, too, because the cat doesn't like him, either." Now, he smiled.

"Okaaaayyy? Ah….OH NO! Not that…uh uhhh….no way, guys, no way at all. That cat likes me because I'm NICE, not because I'm…." Mike had his hands up, palms out and fingers spread in defense. "No way in hell…"

Raph added one more comment, "Might explain your hesitancy when I asked if you had a _girlfriend_. Is there someone '_special'_ you want to tell us about, bro?"

Soon it was obvious that having a peaceful night of watching DVD's was out of the question…that and having any of April's furniture survive. Not with 'Wrestlemania' going on in her living room.

April could only hope that her neighbors downstairs were out doing the town as they did every Friday night.

She could hope, but that's all she could do.

THE END.

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_**Thanks to all who read and reviewd. PHOENIX RISING**: _


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